Minimalist Posters of the day: Ooh, so who’s ridiculously hyped for the finale of True Detective? The first season of the crazy good, crazy popular HBO crime anthology concludes tonight and has set audience tongues a-wagging, spawning more theories than Lost and Twin Peaks combined, maybe. For the record, we’re pretty sure 2012 Rust & Marty traveled back in time to commit all the murders, just to give their 1995-era selves something to do… or something along those lines. Anyways, here’s some stunning minimalist art by Nigel Evan Dennis to keep you going until the final episode airs later
Psychedelia of the day: So the new hype poster for the final season of Mad Men is pretty colourful, to put it mildly. Does it mean the whole season will just be the entire cast of characters tripping balls on LSD? Because we all know Mad Men plus drugs resulted in two of the best episodes to date, specifically Season 5’s "Far Away Places" and Season 6’s "The Crash".
Showrunner Matthew Weiner explained to the New York Times:
“There is a dreamlike quality to it, and believe it or not, it is related to the show, and not because it’s psychedelic,” said Weiner, dressed appropriately for the period, with a buttoned-up suit vest but also a bright pink patterned tie. “That’s not what it’s about. What it’s about is the material and the immaterial world, and that’s what I loved.”
Did the imagery hold any clues to the season, beyond Don Draper’s affection for women and drink? Mr. Weiner, known for being unforthcoming with plot details, said, “This is related to the late ’60s, which is all I will say about it.” He added, “It maintains the idea that this is somehow going on in Don Draper’s mind, which is what the story is always about — and what the back of his head is about, on some level.”
…so that’s a no to fourteen episodes of Don and Roger off their tits in NYC 1969? The season better be good to make me forget about this disappointing news.
Unintelligble Parody of the day: It’s unlikely you’ll see a better parody of HBO’s True Detective any time soon. Starring Community’s Joel McHale and Jim Rash as Rust Cohle and Marty Hart, it’s a scarily accurate rib at the atmospheric/mumbly style of the show, right down the hair and the Big Hug Mug. Props to Rash for a crazy good impression of Woody Harrelson too.
Oscar Photo(s) of the day: Forget Ellen & co’s record-breaking selfie, Amy Poehler attempting a handstand with the help of Bill fuckin’ Murray, Paul Rudd, Andy Samberg, Megan Mullally, Adam Scott, Nick Kroll and Bill Hader is truly the greatest photo of last night’s Academy Awards. Best group of people to get drunk with, or best group of people to get drunk with? Also please say this is a sign that Bill Murray will finally be playing the Mayor of Pawnee on Parks & Rec very soon.
Song Of The Day
"Do The Bartman" was the number one single in the charts the day Hitsville editor and team member Alex Quinn was born 23 years ago today. Happy birthday!
Oh em eff gee.
If you watched Heroes (like a decent human being) then feel free to carry on reading, if you’ve never heard of it then I guess that’s kind of acceptable, but what are you, a hermit? Either way, go and watch it and then come back (you might be a while). However if you’re one of these “Oh yeah I watched that for the first season or two but then it went bad” kind of people, then just leave, you’re not welcome here. Yeah I get that it may have trailed off a little bit, and some bits were just down right crazy. But hey, this is Tim Kring, eventually you just get to do whatever the fuck you like with your shows, and why not? He’s done his hard work just for bringing Hiro and Sylar into my life.
But alas, onto the topic at hand…
I saw one of the best 21 second-long youtube videos of my life today (if you haven’t already, watch it here). Ever since Heroes ended way back in 2010, every time I saw the image of a solar eclipse, I stood up and proclaimed “Finally! It has happened! Heroes is coming back!” …as it unfortunately turns out, that’s quite a popular bit of iconography, and it’s been on a few film trailers/music videos/adverts, so yeah, it’s been four years of crushed dreams (and public embarrassment from jumping up and shouting at screens so much). Today though, it happened, and I almost wee’d. Sure there have been rumours of a possible spin-off film, or an internet mini-series, but hearing that it’s going to be back on TV for (supposedly) thirteen whole episodes, damn, just… damn.
Once again, as I said, if you’re not familiar with the show, I guess you’ll be a bit like, “oh, erm, this guy seems to like this a little bit too much”, and you’re probably right, but don’t let my overenthusiastic words and love for Zachary Quinto put you off the best show of the pre-Breaking Bad era (to be known to future generations as B.BB). Hopefully though most of you will at least have a clue to what’s going on here, which is superlative; you should share in my glowing happiness until 2015 when the series kicks off once more.
Yep, that’s right, the trailer revealed pretty much only two things: the title, and that I have to wait nearly a year for this. That’s the kind of thing that can physically and mentally wound people. I wouldn’t really care if I had to wait until December to find out Heroes was returning, but is it really necessary to start the hype this early? Really? It’s like finding out what you’re getting for your birthday next year… The day after your birthday this year, but then you also haven’t had a birthday since 2010 (people with leap year birthdays, I now understand your pain).
And I’m also a bit sceptical about the title. Heroes Reborn? Why isn’t it still just Heroes? What are parts of the vital elements of the show are you messing with to require a title alteration? I’ve heard rumours that some of the old cast might “pop in”. Pop in? They’re not a distant relative, callin round for a brew and a chat, they’re the foundations of the show! They’ve given me what I’ve been waiting for, for four years (alliteration bonus) but they’ve provided it in such a way that it’s made me automatically suspicious. And I don’t want to be suspicious, I just want to look forward to my favourite show, I really do. There’s so few things for me to look forward to, I just want one. Please, just give me this, NBC?
I suppose I can’t really complain, the one thing that Heroes actually did well was have a half decent character-turnover rate, mainly because one of the main characters was going around and killing everyone.. But hey, it worked. Kring has been confirmed to be returning to his showrunner’s chair for the reboot, but apart from that details are relatively low on the ground, and NBC have made a point of telling everyone that that’s how it’s going to stay, at least until shit gets sorted (I don’t think that’s their exact wording, but it’s close enough).Seems like it’s going to be a year of anticipation and turmoil for me. Wonderful.
On a final good note, Masi Oka has hinted as delicately as a ticking clock (see what I did there), that he might be coming back, tweeting that it might be “time to dust off the sword”, what a guy.
The #TrueDetectiveSeason2 tag is pure gold
It was abundantly obvious that, from the opening scenes of that first episode in which Kevin Spacey’s Francis Underwood snapped a poor dog’s neck, David Fincher’s adaptation of the BBC hit House of Cards was not going to be just another political drama. Whereas The West Wing is filled with the most optimistic people trying to do the best for the people with what they have, House of Cards is a political climate full of back-stabbing, cutthroat politicians that would make Longinus and Brutus give a standing ovation.
The first season saw the ambitious Francis Underwood, the House Majority Whip who played a big part in the election of Democratic President Garrett Walker, being passed over for Secretary of State despite the promise Walker had made during the election. Furious at this, Underwood begins his campaign of revenge, moving pieces into place from behind the scenes to undermine anyone standing in his way and climbing the ladder of power. First he takes down Senator Michael Kern, who became Walker’s new pick for State, undermining Walker’s power in the cabinet by placing a new Senator allied with Underwood in the cabinet. He starts an affair with an up-and-coming journalist, Zoe Barnes (Kate Mara), in order to leak stories that would damage the reputation of his rivals. Then Underwood sets his sights on the office of the Vice President, using a promising Congressman, and perhaps the only honest politician in America by the looks of things, Peter Russo, to well and truly botch up the special election to replace the VP as Governor of Pennsylvania, causing the VP to leave his position to retake his seat as Governor. Through 13 episodes, Francis Underwood moves his chess pieces with skill and ease, dispatching of enemies as swiftly as he did that dog in the opening moments, rising up the ladder to the position of Vice President while kicking everyone else from the rungs with a forceful heel to the face; they weren’t getting back up.
But Season 2 sees Francis’ plan for revenge becoming less about strategy and more about pure out-and-out butchery, sometimes to his benefit and sometimes causing a lot of problems. In one scene, Freddy, the owner of Francis’ favourite BBQ joint, discusses how the new meat he’s using for his ribs is butchered using the illegal “slow-bleed” technique which, as opposed to giving the animal a quick blow to the back of the head, involves the butcher letting them bleed out. It seems that Francis takes this to heart as much of his plan this season is more focused around butchery than a swift blow to the head. He wants to see people suffer and squirm, even if it does often put himself in a bad position, over a prolonged period of time.
It becomes clear that this is a more brutal House of Cards in the first episode which sees Zoe Barnes, who has been pulling at the loose threads of the conspiracy surrounding Peter Russo’s suicide (actually his murder formulated and dispatched by the ruthless Underwood) since the end of the first season so much that things were starting to unravel, being pushed in front a train. While viewers of the UK series, which sees Mattie Storin thrown from the roof of the House of Commons, knew that it had to happen for Francis to tie up the loose ends, it happened so early and so suddenly, rather than neatly wrapping up the first season as in the UK version. But Frank is not here to be a pushover. As he sketches a picture of a bull in a cabinet meeting during which President Walker is ruffling his feathers, he turns to the camera and says, “There are two types of Vice President: doormats and matadors. Which do you think I intend to be?”
If you didn’t think Francis and Claire could get any more Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, you’re sorely mistaken. The scenes involving Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright are just utterly captivating (beyond one scene involving their main bodyguard Meechum which is just a little bit creepy and out of the blue) as they further plot their revenge while also being the only real times you see these two sociopaths show any hint of humanity. Robin Wright dominates the season with some of the best scenes of the show so far, including the captivating solo live interview Claire gives in the fourth episode. Throwing Raymond Tusk into the fray, who is also seeking to create a puppet of the President just as the Underwoods are, brings a new exciting foil to Francis; a villain that well and truly paints Francis as more of an anti-hero.
This is a season that lets us know that Francis Underwood isn’t this perfect political game-player, especially when stacked up against Tusk who is probably the closest to a real rival Underwood has ever had. We see Francis’ plans, more often than not, blowing up in his face, whether this is having to cut ties with someone he cares about deeply (in as much as Francis Underwood can care about someone) or even getting pulled into the problem himself, having to squirm out of it within an inch of his life. It’s as exciting as it ever was to watch Francis plot away and move those pieces into place to cause his enemies to jump, rather than be pushed (except in the case of Zoe obviously). This is a much slower climb for Francis and Claire but it’s one that plays off in such a thrilling way; the last scene of the final episode probably overtakes The Wolf of Wall Street for the “Best Use of Rhythmic Beating of an Object/Chest) as Kevin Spacey stares directly into the camera, his ultimate goal finally accomplished.
Sometimes, in its swift move from the politics of Congress to those of the White House, storylines are wrapped up, old characters such as Zoe dispatched with, and new ones brought on board in a kind of haphazard manner. While the new characters, such as pseudo-Frank Jackie Sharp (played by Deadwood’s Molly Parker) make a real impact, keeping the fun of the whipping of votes about, and old characters such as Gerald McRaney’s Raymond Tusk become much more important, it often feels like storylines and characters are just thrown away with little explanation. The investigation into Frank’s “activities” is just tossed aside with a bit of a whimper, despite it gaining some exciting traction (although it could be something that could re-emerge in the next season). Even Zoe’s death seems to just fade out of memory pretty quickly, with no-one really questioning why this reporter who was breaking huge stories and making a real name for herself would suddenly throw herself in front of a bridge. It often gets slightly frustrating but, when the focus shifts back to Francis’ Machiavellian ways, it’s hard to stay mad at it.
Like Season 1, though, Season 2 is one that spreads its plot too thinly. The trip back to his old college, while giving us a nice insight into the previous life of Francis, put a swift halt to the momentum that was quickly building up in Season 2. A trip to a Civil War re-enactment in Season 2 does the same; as does a pretty pointless romantic sub-plot involving Jackie Sharp and all the gubbins involving Rachel Posner which definitely feels like filler. It feels like the writers, once again, found themselves struggling to write for 13 episodes. Given a run of ten, this season could be a lot tighter. The middle part of the season enters a real lull before the final few episodes really kick things into overdrive and never let you of the ride until that final “thump-thump”. A lot of that extra fat does feel like it could lead to something exciting in the next season which, if you have any knowledge of Macbeth, could lead to a very exciting third act, but when it’s so clear that this is a show about Francis and Claire, you just want to get back to them doing whatever it is they do best (though they do give a lot more focus to Freddy outside of his interactions with Frank and that I’m more than OK with because Reg E Cathey, like in The Wire, steals every scene he’s in).
House of Cards’ second season is as messy as its first but, like its first, has a lot to really get stuck in to. There’s a lot that could be trimmed down, a lot that could be handled much better, but just watching these characters trying to deal with the shit hitting the fan, shit that Underwood put there on purpose, is as exciting, and as wonderfully bingeable, as it ever was. As the first episode comes to a close, an episode completely devoid of the fourth wall breaking that made both the UK series so unique, Underwood looks towards the camera, finally acknowledging the audience with “You thought I’d forgotten about you?”. He continues in his Southern drawl, the vocal equivalent of molasses rolling off the tongue, “There is but one rule: hunt or be hunted. Welcome back”. Welcome back, indeed.
2013 was an amazing year in TV land, and it can be defined in 2 words: Breaking Bad. Of course, no spoilers will be posted, for the benefit of the one or two sentient beings in the universe that have not yet seen it, but it’s safe to say that the buzz was deserved.
Of course, Breaking Bad over now, but don’t despair! The small screen still has a lot to offer us humans in the year of 2014. Here’s just a small selection of shows worth getting excited about.
Peep Show (TBA on Channel 4)
The new series of Peep Show not only offers excitement, but commiseration, as it is set to be the last series of the show ever. If you’re not aware of it, Peep Show is (or at least should be) one of Britain’s proudest institutions, and has ran on a diet of biting sarcasm for 9 seasons, without sucking. Considering how notoriously short British comedy series’ are, that is an achievement in itself. The return of Peep Show will provide fans with the long awaited answer to the status of Mark and Jeremy’s friendship after the fallout of their love triangle with Dobby, and will hopefully see the show out in a typically darkly humorous fashion.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Autumn on FX)
It seems like a bad year for great comedies ending, and unfortunately, this is not just isolated to the UK. Although rumours of the show ending were squashed by actor Glenn Howerton, he claimed that the show is only signed for 10 seasons, and that they “may” do more, which doesn’t sound too promising. However, with Glenn admitting in a Reddit AMA that something sinister about his character, Dennis Reynolds, will be revealed by the end of the show, it seems likely it will go out with all guns blazing, and leaving us not knowing whether to laugh or puke.
Doctor Who (November 23rd on BBC One)
Whether you love or hate what Moffat has done with the show since he took over, you will probably be watching the new series of Doctor Who. Regenerations always spark new interest in the show, and Peter Capaldi is a more than capable actor who promises to shake things up. If his performances on the seminal political comedy The Thick of It prove anything, it’s that he can play a character that burns with manic charisma superbly, and this skill will undoubtedly be transferable to playing The Doctor, providing he tones down the expletives.
Game Of Thrones (6th April on HBO)
Game of Thrones’ fanbase has been named the most dedicated in the world, ahead of Justin Bieber’s, and President Barrack Obama is allegedly a fan, so I’m going to tread very carefully when talking about this show, which admittedly, I know very little about. I have consulted one of my friends, who is a fan, and they informed me that it is full of “tits and dragons”.
Seriously though, a 15 minute preview was posted to YouTube on the 10th of February, which teases a purple wedding between King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell. The clip is full of interviews from cast members, who answer fans questions via twitter, and it’s probably worth a looksee if you’re a fan on the show.
Mad Men (17th April on AMC)
The critically acclaimed men-in-suits-sitting-around-drinking-athon Mad Men is returning for its 7th season in April. It will be split into 2 parts: the first of which is titled “The Beginning”, and the second titled “The End of An Era”, which isn’t promising for anyone who wanted the show to last forever. Still, the last half airs in 2015, so sit back and immerse yourself in the detailed picture of 1950s America that is painted by the show, and forget your worries by substituting them for the worries of fictional characters.
American Horror Story (TBA on FX)
So far, American Horror Story has done a good job of scaring the crap out of the viewing public whilst sneakily imbedding deeper themes. The unique thing about the show is that when a new series starts, the restart button is hit on the theme. So what is series 4 going to be about? The rumours suggest that it will be circus themed, but the show’s creator Ryan Murphy told Entertainment Weekly that “no one has completely guessed what it is”. However, he did confirm that it will be taking part over 2 time periods, one of which is the 1950s. With no exact date for the premier, we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.
Workaholics (Wednesdays on Comedy Central)
Admittedly, this one won’t be for everyone. If you think you’re above toilet humour, move on to the next entry. If you can appreciate an unapologetically dumb comedy, then look no further. The current series of the show is currently airing on Wednesday’s on Comedy Central, and has plunged to new depths/reached new heights, depending on your perspective. So far there has been a pregnant woman’s water breaking on a man’s face, a fight scene involving rotting fish and music from the band Ceremony, and an episode revolving entirely around stealing snacks from the office of Telamericorp’s break-room. Immature? Yeah, but it will beat you into laughing by throwing a never ending parade of non-sequiturs and ridiculous slap-stick sequences in front of your eyes
Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe (Wednesdays on BBC 2)
Yes, it’s on its final episode. That’s what BBC iPlayer was invented for, and Brooker deserves every shout-out he can get. Long-term fans of Britain’s favourite misanthrope may have noticed a slight decline in Brooker’s “wipe” style shows after moving to BBC2 from BBC4, partly due to having to tone it down for an audience on a channel people actually watch. However, this series has been incredibly on point, with Brooker turning his uniquely scathing world-view to everything from the furore surrounding Justin Bieber to Benefits Street. The inclusion of Scottish oddball Limmy, and the Brass Eye-ish “Moments of Wonder” are also excellent knew features, which help break-up the “greying man talking to a camera” formula Brooker has been peddling for over a decade now.
In case you missed the big big news, after years in development hell, cult comic Preacher is finally being adapted as a TV series for AMC. Helmed by Seth Rogen and his creative partner Evan Goldberg (the pair wrote Superbad, Pineapple Express, The Green Hornet, The Watch and both wrote and directed This Is The End), with Breaking Bad’s Sam Catlin as showrunner and EP, the adaptation of Preacher represents a major coup for AMC and one hell of a challenge for the production crew. If you’ve never read the ten volume opus, it’s one hell of a ride, following the titular reverend, his amateur assassin girlfriend and their Irish vampire friend as they trek across America to literally find god. Add on top of that a ton of pitch-black humour, satire, depravity… it’s the most ridiculous, over-the-top thing you’ll ever read, and it’s utterly brilliant. The real challenge of bringing garth Ennis’ masterpiece to the small screen lies in the casting.
Jesse’s our protagonist a good ol’ Texas boy who just as he begins to lose faith in religion and preaching becomes infused with a heavenly being known as Genesis (the offspring of a forbidden angel-demon relationship). This gives him the power of “The Word Of god” which allows him to command others without resistance. Jesse’s an honourable fella, with a strict code of honour and a love of Westerns; he’s also a classic rugged hero, taught since childhood “to be a good guy, ‘cause there’s way too many of the bad”. There are a number of actors who come to mind to wear the Custer dog collar; Matthew McConaughey’s recent renaissance and particularly his brooding role in True Detective put him towards the top of the list, along with his natural Texan drawl. However, it’s unlikely that he’d want to sign up for what’s likely to be a long term TV project, especially now he’s in the middle of an extraordinary cinematic purple patch. Staying in “Hollywood hunk” territory, James Franco is a name which has been brought up again and again for the role of Jesse, not least because of a noticeable physical resemblance. To strengthen Franco’s case, he’s good friends with Rogen and Goldberg, has the acting chops for the comedic and dramatic aspects of the role and is known for branching out beyond the silver screen (books, art, screenplays, music, etc), so who’s to say he wouldn’t want to try his hand at being the lead in a premier TV show?
In terms of cheaper but experienced picks, both Timothy Olyphant and Walton goggins would be fine choices, and with Justified wrapping up in the near future, both have clear schedules. Hell, you could probably argue that their characters in Justified are two sides of the same Jesse Custer-shaped coin; a charming-if-flawed lawman and a charismatic crook. Looking deeper into the TV pool, Game Of Thrones’ Richard Madden and Boardwalk Empire’s Jack Huston would also be welcomed positively by fans of the comic, although they’d have to work on their Southern accent first.
If Preacher had actually been adapted in the late ‘90s, then the role of Jesse’s on/off girlfriend would have had to have undoubtedly gone to Uma Thurman, no substitutes accepted. But alas, like McConaughey, it’s doubtful Thurman would want to drop down from film to TV, even for a major role like Tulip. Plus the former Ms Mia Wallace would probably be a little old for the role, but we’re probably only saying that because casting her is a pipe dream. A proficient markswoman, handy in a fight, essentially raised as a boy by her strict father, slightly older than Jesse, a loyal friend and partner and attempted hitwoman, Tulip will be a prize role for any actress to sink their teeth into. Adrienne Palicki and Katee Sackhoff would be an excellent choice if they were to step away from their Hollywood roles (Palicki may be particular reticent having been burnt by starring in the rejected pilot for a Wonder Woman TV show), or more likely, Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski.
An immortal Irish vampire with drug and alcohol problems, wild hair, a love of fighting and a pair of hella cool Ray Bans that never leave his face? Even I wanna play Cassidy! Likely to be one of the breakout or fan favourite characters of the show, the role of Cassidy has been consistently fancast with Michael Fassbender, Robert Pattinson and Colin Farrell over the years. Whilst Pattinson is in there purely for his own wild mane and past in the Twilight past, Fassbender and Farrell would be incredible picks… however once again their cemented Hollywood status sorta kills any hope of them donning the sunglasses. More likely to be up for the role are Jonathan Rhys Meyers (recently seen playing Dracula on NBC) and Jamie Bell (recently cast in AMC’s Turn), but I’m going to throw out a curveball here: Sean Bean. I have no idea if Lord Stark’s Irish accent is any good, but he would be killer in this.
The primary antagonist of Preacher a former German anti-terror operative and member of the shadowy Christian operation known as The Grail, Herr Starr is also one of the foremost sources of comedy in Preacher, be it black or slapstick. This is a terrifying, dominant, diabolic man, a force of nature… who also at one point is scarred in a way that makes him look like a penis. Yes. Told you this comic was over the top. The list of actors who’d be superb as Starr would include pretty much any actor who’s played a morally dubious villain in the last ten years; Mark Strong, Damian Lewis, Terry O’Quinn, Kevin Spacey, Hugo Weaving, Harry Lloyd, Ciaran Hinds, Charles Dance, Michael McElhatton… if he wasn’t locked in as Dr Lecter for the foreseeable future, Mads Mikkelsen would be great, and he’d even have the Germanic accent down. However, if it was at all possible in any way, the man who would have to play Herr Starr is Bryan Cranston. Now I know he’s just finished Breaking Bad, and probably doesn’t want to be anywhere near playing a bald bad guy for the next decade, but he perfectly balanced the utterly pathetic life and actions of Walter White with the megalomaniac empire-building of Heisenberg. No other actor I know of could possibly balance a character both ridiculous and fearsome like Cranston could.
Originally a soldier serving in the Confederate Army during the American Civil War, The Saint Of Killers is the Patron Saint of Murderers and Assassination. In life, The Saint died in the process of slaughtering an outlaw gang who had inadvertently caused the death of his wife and child. In the melee The Saint killed an innocent bystander, causing him to be consigned to hell. However, his sheer hatred causes Hell to literally freeze over, which causes the Angel of Death to offer The Saint to return to Earth under the condition that he takes up his role of collecting the souls of those who die by violence. Melting the Angel of Death’s sword in Hell’s last burning fire, the Devil forges two Walker Colt revolvers that will kill anything, never miss their target, never leave The Saint’s possession, and never run out of bullets. The Saint allows his body to rest in a tomb in the pleasantly-named town of Ratwater as his spirit gathers souls; that is until Genesis merges with Jesse, which spurs The Saint to pursue our protagonist. If that sounds crazy then the rest of the comic will blow your tiny brain to pieces.
Basically, The Saint is the biggest badass in the history of badasses. The character in the comics was clearly influenced by Clint Eastwood’s Western characters, but there’s no way of tempting the legendary actor/director to cable TV, so we have to look elsewhere. Ron Perlman’s name has been thrown about the internet, and he certainly has the presence and gruff demeanour needed. Alas, he might be tangled up in Sons Of Anarchy for the next few years. Josh Holloway would be a good casting, if they’re going with a young and handsome interpretation of The Saint, which would almost certainly be a mistake. If any of you saw R.I.P.D., then I feel sorry for you having to sit through the latter, but you’ll have also seen Jeff Bridges be the best damn thing in the movie playing a grumpy-ass cowboy lawman - he also played a similar role as Rooster Cogburn in the Coen brothers’ True Grit – and throw his ten-gallon hat in the ring to play the immortal killer. However, if we’re looking for a perfect substitute for Eastwood, then there are only two really contenders; Sam Elliot, or The Undertaker. Now hear me out; Elliot looks like a ghostly cowboy already, and has a hell of unique deep and gravelly voice so he’s ideal, but Taker… I mean c’mon. Mark Callaway has spent over two decades in the WWE playing various incarnations a vengeful undead outlaw from the south. He’s one of the most commanding screen presences ever, plus he only has the one match a year nowadays, so scheduling ain’t a problem. If getting Taker to play The Saint Of Killers meant never reading another comic again, my trade paperbacks would already be on eBay.
I won’t accept anyone other than Bieber or maybe Shia LaBeouf. It’s the role they were both born to play.