internet miscellanea

  1. Very Informative Album Cover of the day: If only all artists were so transparent with their finances for album launches… it’d wouldn’t make a huge amount of different but it’d be rather interesting. In case you missed the news, this week Richard D James aka Aphex Twin announced the release of his sixth album SYRO, his first since 2001’s Drukqs, on September 23rd via James’ regular label Warp. The album was announced on the deep web browser Tor and now, continuing what’s sure to be a very unusual release, we have the album artwork which presumably details exactly what’s being spent on the promotion of SYRO. If our calculations are correct, it amounts to £160,429 (or the weekly wage of a Premier League footballer at a top four club), a relative pittance compared to what you imagine is budgeted for the chart-topping pop icons of the world. Only £35 on promo CD-Rs? Bit stingy isn’t it, Rich?

    The tracklist for SYRO is:

    1. minipops 67 [120.2][source field mix] [aka the manchester track]
    2. XMAS_EVET10 [120][thanaton3 mix]
    3. produk 29 [101]
    4. 4 bit 9d api+e+6 [126.26]
    5. 180db_ [130]  
    6. CIRCLONT6A [141.98][syrobonkus mix]
    7. fz pseudotimestretch+e+3 [138.85]
    8. CIRCLONT14 [152.97][shrymoming mix]
    9. syro u473t8+e [141.98][piezoluminescence mix]
    10. PAPAT4 [155][pineal mix]
    11. s950tx16wasr10 [163.97][earth portal mix]
    12. aisatsana [102]

    Check out the album’s page on Warp’s website for a truly odd accompanying press release.

  2. Watch: Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul and Julia Louis-Dreyfus plug the Primtetime Emmys: Any chance to see Walt and Jesse back together - and not trying to kill each other - in any context, we’ll take it. Alternatively, any chance to see Seinfeld's Elaine and Tim Whatley back together is a chance worth taking, even if it involves three icons of television shilling for both the upcoming Emmys and Audi. Still, this kinda makes us want a sketch show starring Cranston and Paul. Make it happen, TV gods.

  3. Jedi of the day: All it took was a simple beard to make Luke Skywalker look like the biggest badass in the galaxy, instead of, y’know, regular Mark Hamill. Hamill seems to have slimmed down a whole bunch recently in preparation for the reprisal of his most famous role in Episode VII, and the facial hair really ties the whole Jedi Master look together. Obi-Wan would definitely be proud.

  4. I’m in the business of trying to make dope shit for the world. You’re in the business of representing scums and trying to make as much money as long as there’s this lapse in the law… I’m the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears.

    [Responding to the prosecution quoting a couplet from “Flashing Lights”: “Till I get flashed by the paparazzi / Damn, these niggas got me.”]
    “You have to ask for a hall pass. You can’t just say the ‘n’ word around me,” he says. “It offends me because you’re a white person saying ‘nigga.’”

    [On the struggles celebrities have in maintaining privacy and if he equates them with the civil rights struggles of the 1960s]
    “I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ‘Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also…. Yes, 100%… I equate it to discrimination. I equate it to inequalities. We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this – guys trying to take the picture, guys trying to get the big win, guys trying to get the check.”

    [On where he lives]
    “Earth.”

    [On paparazzi using drones to photograph his family’s private life]
    “Is your daughter stalked by like drones? Are there drones flying where she’s trying to learn how to swim at age one? … Wouldn’t you like to just teach your daughter how to swim without a drone flying? What happens if a drone falls right next to her? Would it electrocute her? … Could it fall and hit her if that paparazzi doesn’t understand how to remote control the drone over their house?”

    Occasional hive of scum and villainy TMZ has obtained a transcript of the deposition of Kanye West from his 2013 trial for misdemeanours of criminal battery and attempted grand theft, which came after West allegedly attacking a paparazzo. He pled not guilty, and was eventually sentenced to two years probation in March.

    These excerpts are pretty much vintage Kanye; if you love him, they’ll just make you love him more, and if you hate him, then it won’t exactly change your mind on Yeezy (although that civil rights comment is a bit of a stretch…)

  5. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.
    Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.
    Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.
    Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.
    Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.
    Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls. Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.

    Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.

  6. Excellent T-Shirt of the day: Most pop culture mash-up t-shirts end up being kind of lazy or obvious - shoehorning references to Adventure Time or Doctor Who into the iconography of some other beloved nerd property - but this Joy Division x Star Trek: The Next Generation's Worf is truly inspired. Alas, thanks to Threadless' mechanics, it's unlikely to ever be up for sale, but I'm sure the internet can find a way to remedy that.

  7. Miserable Rock Star of the day: Millions of dollars, critical and commerical success, and legions of adoring fans can’t stop sports from getting you down, as the world is finding out from these shots of Jack White in the stands of a recent Chicago Cubs game. Although, he should really know what he’s in for if he’s watching the Cubs, am I right folks? (disclaimer: I know zilch about baseball). Perhaps the people sitting next to him were talking about White’s longtime nemeses The Black Keys? Or maybe he’s just hoping they don’t mistake him for Johnny Depp. Miserable Rock Star of the day: Millions of dollars, critical and commerical success, and legions of adoring fans can’t stop sports from getting you down, as the world is finding out from these shots of Jack White in the stands of a recent Chicago Cubs game. Although, he should really know what he’s in for if he’s watching the Cubs, am I right folks? (disclaimer: I know zilch about baseball). Perhaps the people sitting next to him were talking about White’s longtime nemeses The Black Keys? Or maybe he’s just hoping they don’t mistake him for Johnny Depp.
    Miserable Rock Star of the day: Millions of dollars, critical and commerical success, and legions of adoring fans can’t stop sports from getting you down, as the world is finding out from these shots of Jack White in the stands of a recent Chicago Cubs game. Although, he should really know what he’s in for if he’s watching the Cubs, am I right folks? (disclaimer: I know zilch about baseball). Perhaps the people sitting next to him were talking about White’s longtime nemeses The Black Keys? Or maybe he’s just hoping they don’t mistake him for Johnny Depp.

    Miserable Rock Star of the day: Millions of dollars, critical and commerical success, and legions of adoring fans can’t stop sports from getting you down, as the world is finding out from these shots of Jack White in the stands of a recent Chicago Cubs game. Although, he should really know what he’s in for if he’s watching the Cubs, am I right folks? (disclaimer: I know zilch about baseball). Perhaps the people sitting next to him were talking about White’s longtime nemeses The Black Keys? Or maybe he’s just hoping they don’t mistake him for Johnny Depp.

  8. So I go on Reddit and invariably end up clicking on ‘GoneWild’ posts. It’s always girls taking naked pictures in the mirror, and their room behind them is a disaster. If I were a guy, I would not be turned on. I would be like, ‘Make your bed!’

    Whilst decoding her tweets in an interview with Glamour Magazine, everyone’s favourite young non-Jennifer Lawrence actress Anna Kendrick let slip that she’s a covert Redditor, and a regular visitor to the nudity-happy r/GoneWild subreddit. So now you know if you’ve ever submitted phots on there, it’s possible Anna Kendrick has seen your boobs/butt/genitals/untidy room. Knowing the internet as we do, that’s more of an encouragement than a deterrent…
  9. Announcing Hitsville’s Game Of Throw-Ins, not just an excellent pun, but our very own Fantasy Football (that’s “soccer” to you across the Atlantic) league. With the Barclays Premier League kicking off on August 16th, and with our very occasional forays into the world of sports, we thought we best get in on the action for the 2014/15 season. Click here to sign up!

  10. Wonderful Coincidence of the day: If there’s a fictional character who deserves a grandiose statue, it’s Parks & Recreation's Ron Swanson. Someone on Reddit posted this photo of a statue found in Philadelphia’s Walnut Street Theatre, which bares a startling resemblance to Nick Offerman’s moustachieod begrudging government worker, albeit in Roman garb. It turns out it’s actually a likeness of legendary Philadelphia actor Edwin Forrest… either that or Offerman is a Time Lord.