There’s always that. I’ve had many experiences with that mistake. I was in this zoo in Australia once, at the kiosk with my kids, and there’s someone on the phone whispering, “It’s fucking Nicolas Cage! He’s here!” I’m going, “Oh, Jesus”, because this mistake gets made all the time. Anyway, I leave the zoo and stop at this little pub in the middle of nowhere – and there’s Nicolas Cage sitting there. So, it was actually him at the zoo… Yeah, he said, “One letter separates us”. We just mumbled at each other. But he had major bodyguards. SAS stuff.Thanks to an interview with Shortlist Magazine, we finally know what would happen if Nick Cave and Nic Cage would meet. Turns out it’s not a weird meeting of minds and a tale of rock ‘n’ roll excesses, but more like the awkwardness of seeing a teacher on the weekends
Decidedly Not Bald Supervillain of the day: Hoo, boy, this isn’t going to please the fanboys. Reaction to Jesse Eisenberg’s casting as Superman’s nemesis Lex Luthor in the then-untitled Batman-featuring Man Of Steel sequel was lukewarm at best (to be fair, after rumours of Bryan Cranston getting the role, anyone else is going to be a bit of a letdown), but this photo with a fan will likely only exacerbate skepticism. Snapped on the set of Zack Snyder’s Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice by Twitter user Nicole Yloupis, Eisenberg looks, well, absolutely nothing like his comic book counterpart, famed for being follicularly challenged.
Now, that’s almost definitely a wig that Eisenberg is wearing, so whether Snyder’s vision of the character involves a smart-casual side-parting instead of Eisenberg’s usual curls, or Luthor be wearing a wig in-universe for a cooler public image as a young media figurehead, or we’re set for something of a Luthor origin story in which he tragically loses his locks, we’ll have to wait until the film is released on March 25th 2016 to find out. Alas, ‘til then, this might just be more ammunition for the growing section of fans writing it off as a failure already.
Expletive Supercut of the day: When it comes to cursing in sitcoms, very few come close to It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (arguably The Gang are neck and neck with the South Park kids for foulest-mouthed characters on TV). But oddly enough, their go-to swear is one of the tamest possible, and probably barely even raises an eyebrow for most people; “goddamn it”. In fact, it’s used so often by Charlie, Dee, Dennis, Frank and Mac that one presumably extremely patient fan has compiled every utterance of the phrase in the show’s entire run to date in one handy six and a half minute video, which is remarkable when you consider it takes one second to say, at most. Goddamn it, we want Season Ten as soon as possible.
Instagram Portraits of the day: Who knew all it took to class up MTV’s VMAs after last year’s Thicke/Cyrus twerking kerfuffle was hiring photographer Amanda de Cadenet to snap some rather slick backstage portraits (with requisite IG filters).
Very Informative Album Cover of the day: If only all artists were so transparent with their finances for album launches… it’d wouldn’t make a huge amount of different but it’d be rather interesting. In case you missed the news, this week Richard D James aka Aphex Twin announced the release of his sixth album SYRO, his first since 2001’s Drukqs, on September 23rd via James’ regular label Warp. The album was announced on the deep web browser Tor and now, continuing what’s sure to be a very unusual release, we have the album artwork which presumably details exactly what’s being spent on the promotion of SYRO. If our calculations are correct, it amounts to £160,429 (or the weekly wage of a Premier League footballer at a top four club), a relative pittance compared to what you imagine is budgeted for the chart-topping pop icons of the world. Only £35 on promo CD-Rs? Bit stingy isn’t it, Rich?
The tracklist for SYRO is:
- minipops 67 [120.2][source field mix] [aka the manchester track]
- XMAS_EVET10 [thanaton3 mix]
- produk 29 
- 4 bit 9d api+e+6 [126.26]
- 180db_ 
- CIRCLONT6A [141.98][syrobonkus mix]
- fz pseudotimestretch+e+3 [138.85]
- CIRCLONT14 [152.97][shrymoming mix]
- syro u473t8+e [141.98][piezoluminescence mix]
- PAPAT4 [pineal mix]
- s950tx16wasr10 [163.97][earth portal mix]
- aisatsana 
Check out the album’s page on Warp’s website for a truly odd accompanying press release.
Watch: Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul and Julia Louis-Dreyfus plug the Primtetime Emmys: Any chance to see Walt and Jesse back together - and not trying to kill each other - in any context, we’ll take it. Alternatively, any chance to see Seinfeld's Elaine and Tim Whatley back together is a chance worth taking, even if it involves three icons of television shilling for both the upcoming Emmys and Audi. Still, this kinda makes us want a sketch show starring Cranston and Paul. Make it happen, TV gods.
Jedi of the day: All it took was a simple beard to make Luke Skywalker look like the biggest badass in the galaxy, instead of, y’know, regular Mark Hamill. Hamill seems to have slimmed down a whole bunch recently in preparation for the reprisal of his most famous role in Episode VII, and the facial hair really ties the whole Jedi Master look together. Obi-Wan would definitely be proud.
I’m in the business of trying to make dope shit for the world. You’re in the business of representing scums and trying to make as much money as long as there’s this lapse in the law… I’m the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears.
[Responding to the prosecution quoting a couplet from “Flashing Lights”: “Till I get flashed by the paparazzi / Damn, these niggas got me.”]
“You have to ask for a hall pass. You can’t just say the ‘n’ word around me,” he says. “It offends me because you’re a white person saying ‘nigga.’”
[On the struggles celebrities have in maintaining privacy and if he equates them with the civil rights struggles of the 1960s]
“I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ‘Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also…. Yes, 100%… I equate it to discrimination. I equate it to inequalities. We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this – guys trying to take the picture, guys trying to get the big win, guys trying to get the check.”
[On where he lives]
[On paparazzi using drones to photograph his family’s private life]
“Is your daughter stalked by like drones? Are there drones flying where she’s trying to learn how to swim at age one? … Wouldn’t you like to just teach your daughter how to swim without a drone flying? What happens if a drone falls right next to her? Would it electrocute her? … Could it fall and hit her if that paparazzi doesn’t understand how to remote control the drone over their house?”
Occasional hive of scum and villainy TMZ has obtained a transcript of the deposition of Kanye West from his 2013 trial for misdemeanours of criminal battery and attempted grand theft, which came after West allegedly attacking a paparazzo. He pled not guilty, and was eventually sentenced to two years probation in March.
These excerpts are pretty much vintage Kanye; if you love him, they’ll just make you love him more, and if you hate him, then it won’t exactly change your mind on Yeezy (although that civil rights comment is a bit of a stretch…)
Posters: Simpsons World: If you’re someone who already has every Simpsons episode hardwired into your mind and soul, but hasn’t had the time, inclination or means to download them to your computer via less-than-legal avenues, then the announcement of FXX’s Simpsons World was probably like manna from yellow-skinned, four fingered heaven to you. The service, which allows us Springfield obsessives to stream episodes, create playlists, share and search for specific clips, and even follow along with the original script, launches in October, after a 552 episode - the show’s entire run to date - marathon, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from August 21st to September 1st. These posters, designed by Cold Open, Arsonal and Gravillis Inc, to promote the launch are utterly sublime, and there are sure to be more than a few fans clamouring to have these hanging on their walls.