Okay, so we held this most amazing party on a boat in Sydney Harbour by the Bridge. It was out of this fucking world, so beautiful, one of the best nights, like, ever. But this kid from one of the other bands, Thunderbirds Are Now, kept saying, ‘Where’s the fucking vagina at this party?’ He was such a dick. Then he started moaning that there were too many dykes on our boat. I was like, ‘Well, there’s so many dykes because we’re fucking dykes. You know that the band you’re touring with is two-thirds dyke don’t you?’ He was so negative and disrespectful about women, I was like, ‘Oh wait, you just wait boy.’ When he thought I’d calmed down, I quietly went off to drink two whole bottles of red wine really fucking quickly. When I was full to the brim, I snuck up behind him and stuck my fingers right down my throat. This absolute fucking ocean of bright red wine puke just flew out of me and all over him. I drenched the poor kid head to toe. I’ve got to say it fucking ruled. Won’t be acting like that again, will you, young man.
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